saying goodbye

I've had this idea to write on the topic of loss in a family for awhile now and there is no one way to answer the question ... how to talk to your kids about death. After reading here and there about lots of ways to talk/explain/console, I'm just going to put out there what we ended up doing and a few of my favorite articles about the subject. 

We had an uncle pass way before the holidays as well as two family pets and last week my husband's friend, who is only a few years older than us, suddenly passed. All have been hard on my kids in different ways and we explained what we thought is appropriate for them about each. My uncle they only knew from pictures, and we talked about how he had been sick for a few years fighting the cancer and visiting doctors to help him. The two pets were the animals my kids played with the most and it was a missing piece when they visited grandparents homes, so we talked about how that's what happens when you live a long life. For more talking points on grieving a pet, I found this post. 

Our friend they knew and we all hung out from time to time but he wasn't close with S & Z, but they have both heard us talking about the visitation and have seen me cry the last few days, asking what's wrong and why are you crying. This one has really hit close to home because it was so sudden and unbelievable, the thought of his wife and their newborn and will they be ok takes over my whole body, this is the first friend of ours who has passed away, I mean the majority of our group of friends are early-mid 30's. It also brings up questions of what we have in place if something happens and a sudden need to make sure all affairs are in order! With that panic, I headed over to What's Your Grief to calm my mind.

My responsibility to my children is to teach them and on this subject I feel there is no sugar-coating it. Nobody is "sleeping", the animals did not go to a farm, my kids are smart and life is not all rainbows and candy, so I feel a basic truth is what they can handle. There has been talk of heaven and their soul is in good hands free from any hurt, we have also told them the body just stops working when it is sick and can't fight anymore or has been around a long time (which then prompts the question, will gram gram die soon?!) I think my kids understand things more when it is plain and simple science explanation, when we talked about heaven, they kind of went off on a storyline like it was a pretend/imagination/movie, like they know Mike and Sully from Monsters Inc are not real it's just pretend and they don't really live behind the closet door in the monster world. I found myself referring back here for a checklist of points to make clear when talking about death.

But, every kid is different! Some might dwell on it and stay in their room, others might have lots of questions and you can see the gears in their head turning, others might just end the conversation and continue playing. It seemed like, for us, the questions were spread out and they took about a week each time to understand it, ask some more, come up with scenarios they had concerns about. It also helped that we have had a bit of conversation about death when it was about a squashed bug or a deer on the side of the road to ease into, in the years previous.
And now as I'm writing, we don't have any books that tackle the subject, so finding some good references at the library would be helpful to any child at any age! There are a few story books to get us started at Parents.com.

I also want to add a side note about how to help a grieving person. I feel if I were on the other side, these are words I would want to hear and actions that would truly help.

So, in the end, what I gather from all that I read, I did it right (yay parenting win!) when I talked briefly, plainly, and distinction between death and illness. I always let them know they can talk to us about anything and that there will be somethings that we just don't know, but we will figure it out together. 

THE TROUBLE IS, YOU THINK YOU HAVE TIME

xo

new year, slow start

Well December and January sure disappeared in the blink of an eye!

And let's face it, I don't have this blog scheduled out with official "work days" or help for creating content and graphics. I wonder what a full time blogger work schedule looks like, and how they get everything researched, written, and photographed to put out by a certain date? Hmm, maybe that is what I should look into this new year ...

But in the mean time there a few things I'm working on that I want to talk about as well as making sure I get back into this routine of posting!

BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE WHILE WORKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT

XO

cheap date nights part 1

Date nights are important, but there are dwindling funds to go out on a Saturday night and rack up a tab of $60 just on drinks these days! We have been able to go out the last five years and just spend on the date it's self, no babysitting because we are lucky enough to have family nearby that can take care of our two for an evening away. I can't imagine a large portion of the date night budget set aside for child care! But regardless of that, we still keep our night out low cost as much as possible.

I've come across lots of ideas for cheap date nights, and sad to say, most of them are cheesy and seem boring to me {watch, I'll publish my ideas and they will turn out to be boring ones to someone out there!}, but we have had some pretty good ones with minimum damage to out wallets over the years, so in no particular order, here are some cheap {and fun} date night ideas!

*Stargazing! Checkout a telescope at your local library {ask what else they rent our, it's amazing!} and find a great stargazing spot with a small picnic, have a great playlist on the phone and relax under the stars for a few hours enjoying each others company, talking about everything and anything!

*ITap (International Tap House) and a pot luck! Both ITap locations are great and you can bring in your own eats, or order from the restaurant next door, and have a couple beers with friends!

*The Game and a Bucket! Most places will have specials on game day, so we go somewhere low key with a good menu and hangout, meet other fans and share a few laughs!

*Cocktails and a Comedy Special! I love all the comedians on Netflix, even if we don't know who they are, we pick one at random and see what their hour special is like without the cost of a theater ticket!

*Binge watch and some Beers! Yes, classy I know, but if we want to catch up on a couple of our favorites, let's make a night of it!

*New snack and a Board Game! Whether it's something on Pinterest I've been eyeing or something spotted at the grocery store, we bust out a board game (or puzzle!) or two and our new found snacking items and relax the night away!

*Ice Skating, Bowling, Mini Golf, or the Trampoline Park! All are pretty simple and not much gear required, just spending time together. We usually pair this evening with an errand we need to do like the tech store or Home Depot!

*Themed Movie Marathon! Halloween or Christmas or action-adventure, a trilogy perhaps. With a huge bowl of popcorn, this night in, snuggling on the sofa, is a nice and quiet date!



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*College Sports or Community Theater! Some of the productions and concerts are top notch! Check out pricing ahead time for door pricing, but a local eatery and local talent help support your area!

*Volunteer! It's nice to have a day date from time to time and why not spend time together helping others? Volunteer at a food pantry or soup kitchen, giving feels great!

*Thrift Shop Date! I have seen this ideas before and we did it a few years ago for a friends birthday party. Each person gets $5-$10 to buy a thrift shop outfit for each other! Hilarity ensued and we had a great time with friends!

*Outdoor Festival! There are so many free ones to choose here in St. Louis- Twilight Tuesdays at the History Museum, Shakespeare in the Park by the Art Museum, The Great Forest Park Balloon Race Glow on Art Hill, look up the Parks & Rec schedule for lots of different concerts in the spring and summer and pack a cooler bag for a beautiful night!

*Go for a Hike, or Geocaching, or the Gym! We have friends who are into Geocaching and Marble Hunting and it sounds like a lot of fun! My favorite place to walk/hike in the summer and fall is Castlewood State Park, but in the winter being each others spotters in the gym, with babysitting available, is more my pace!

DATE SOMEONE WHO IS HOME AND AN ADVENTURE ALL AT ONCE

xo

easy cooking

The hustle and bustle has begun, and plans are in place for events, gatherings, and making meals! We are attending three Thanksgivings all on different days, because I will not bust my butt and schlep across town to try and make it to two events in one day ... that is madness and no fun for anyone! I have not done it and I will not do, especially now with kids. 

So, meals have to be easy, ready to go, and appeal to many. Where do I find recipes to suit my needs, Pinterest, of course! I don't see why anyone would look anywhere else! Type in key words for what you want and in a click you have tons of ideas! The only easier thing would be to sign up for one of those meal ingredient delivery subscriptions. I tend not to order from the grocery store or deli, I have a feeling the prices are the same and I do not dispute the convenience, it's just not my go-to for holiday feasts.

My favorite crock-pot recipe is turkey breast, super simple and you can add whatever seasoning. Buy turkey breast {from frozen section}, defrost in the fridge the night before, turn on crockpot set to high in the morning, put in bird {but take the gravy packet out of netting first}, put on lid and leave it alone for 6 hours. That's it!! Juicy, shredded turkey that everyone will love! We add liquid smoke sometimes, another seasoning I like is parsley, butter, garlic, salt and pepper. Also, paprika or a mesquite blend gives a little kick, really nice with baked beans and cornbread {yum!}

Sheet pan cooking is another favorite and I have found some really good recipes requiring one cookie sheet and minimal prepping! Pork chops with green beans and potatoes, you can't go wrong! Some substitutions are, carrots for potatoes, zucchini for green beans, chicken for pork, you can really change it up and baking time is the same, but I would recommend cover the sheet in foil so there is no drying out. You can change up the seasoning easily on these ones too! My favorite is a drizzle of maple syrup with butter, but my family loves garlic and parmesan cheese that becomes a bit crusted, and then I make a pot of pasta with it and there are no left overs!

Chicken is what we have for dinner 4 nights out of the week, and it can become old news! But I have been pretty satisfied with the variations that I have come up with over the months ... burrito bowls, stir fry, inside out pot pie {bake biscuits in bottom of bowl with typical insides of a pot pie spooned on top!} diy shake and bake style, but I think my favorite is a play on a paella that is savory with some heat! I get a pan with some oil and garlic going and a pot of water boiling for the rice {or pearl couscous goes well too}, then turn on another burner to set the red bell peppers on while I chop up green beans, fresh green beans taste so good with this dish!


Turn the chicken over, toss in green beans then chop up the bell pepper, now nicely roasted {yum!}. Check to see how the chicken is coming along and add the peppers, sometimes I toss in corn because it adds a nice flavor. All this time the rice is simmering in tomato sauce, so keep stirring it and tast for seasoning. Once everything is done, I mix the rice in with the chicken and veggies and I'm done! This one is not the quickest but it is so worth the time, even as leftovers!


When I'm in the kitchen during the week, I really don't want to spend more than 30 minutes, so the board of recipes I have found on Pinterest from various bloggers and foodies and moms, is awesome and has made life so easy! So now, what about dessert ... well hop on over here for ANOTHER page of food that I love!

GOOD FOOD GOOD LIFE

xo

30-something and fabulous! part two

I gotta say, I like makeup! But mostly when it's for fun dressing up in costume, winged eyeliner, jewel tone eyeshadow, super fake lashes! 
I have yet to master the night out smokey eye or even a basic daytime look, and don't even get me started on this contouring face with three colors of foundation then powder ... that is way too much!! 

I keep it simple and basic and I like the products I like, for example I have been a tired and true Bare Minerals customer for a LONG time now. Even with all their new products they come up with, I stick with the tinted foundation powder and mineral veil. I love how light it is and blends so well and softens the overall appearance of my skin, beautiful! I also use Maybeline Instant Age Rewind Eraser to battle darkness under my eyes, and the two products together are great!

There are only a few colors of lipstick in my makeup bag because I have never found one that doesn't get sticky weird and isn't super expensive. I usually just put on lip moisturizer, Softlips and Nivea are the best!  But when I do toss a lipstick into my purse for a night out, Cover Girl Lip Slicks or Maybeline Baby Lips are what I like! For the best nude lipstick, I have found e.l.f. Jumbo Lip Gloss Stick to be the best choice of colors. Each only have a few shades, not the entire hue and tone of reds, pinks, or nudes to choose from, I guess that's why I like each one of those too, your not bombarded with tons of choices of colors. With these, I have soft and creamy lips in great neutral shades that wear well (but not all) through the day!

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then mine are a simple two pane framed window with simple sheer drapery that does not compete with the sole! I can not leave the house with out mascara, that is my simple sheer drapery that is needed everyday, and it has taken me some time to find the perfect lash enhancer. I have picked mascara from lots of different brands, flat and curved brush, all natural ingredients to sky high length, and have settled on Cover Girl Clump Crusher Curved Brush for many years now. Cover Girl has always had choices in mascara that work well, and I'm a curved brush girl, nothing else will do!

As far as eyeshadow goes, I tend towards neutrals or soft pinks with a bit of sheen to them, not sparkly and not too matte. No blending, no four shades on each eye to create an "effect", I brush it on, highlight my brow bone with an angled brush and I'm good to go. Speaking of brushes, look for a great variety of tools from e.l.f. at Target, reasonably priced and study. I do look up the best colors for blue eyes every now and then,  but those colors seem too bizarre for me! If I want some color, I put on nail polish! I buy whatever color I'm looking for, I don't check labels or ingredients, but I recently cam across an article about why you should care what is in your nail polish and I must say, I'll be rethinking some of my colors. Check out the whole article here!
What about eyeliner? Well, liquid liner evades me, I have no idea how to use it with out looking like a kindergartners art project! I prefer a good pencil or crayon-like that glides over the lid easily and can be smudged nicely. Sonia Kashuk brand is my favorite one I have right now, others that are great are Maybeline, Cover Girl, and Bare Minerals. A lot of times my eyeliner ends up being a free gift with purchase, I don't spend much thought or money on it, but I do need it to be a charcoal in between black and grey color! If I want to change it up a bit, plum or navy are excellent choices as far as I'm concerned!

Now let's talk brows. A very important topic to me because mine are very light mousy brown, patchy, and over plucked, sounds wonderful, I know! I have tried pencils, creamy products you paint on, powders that you apply with a bristle brush and FINALLY after all these years came across a great one that does the job and stays on all day! Have you heard of Wunder Brow? This is a semi permanent  gel that brushes on and blends to be the appearance of tiny brow hairs! It has been a life saver and the best product for my brow problem I have ever found! It takes a few tries to get the hang of and can be cleaned off with their formulated remover (or as I found, vitamin E oil that I bought at Target) if you have any mistakes or to remove for the day. It does not transfer off or peel off, it's waterproof and makes my brows look hoe they are suppose to look! I would recommend Wunder Brow to anyone and everyone!

Under that not-so-much-makeup, my skin is a bit of an issue that I'm working on, but to pamper myself after washing my face {I love my face wash, read my part one!} I like a sheet mask or an eye mask! So luxurious and relaxing at the end of the day, and my skin feels wonderful, what not to love! 
I went into Sephora and found so many different kinds for each problem area but ended up getting Sephora Collection orchid sheet mask for even skin tone and the pearl eye mask for brightening. Both did the job but not a dramatic change that I noticed. Next trip for a mask was to Target, where I found a couple brands with lots of different treatments, and great prices too! Yes to Tomatos sheet mask (the entire line of Yes To brand has sheet, mud, and eye masks!), Masque Bar sheet mask, Que Bella eye mask, Miss Spa sheet mask ... what to choose, what to choose! After using the Miss Spa oxygenating sheet mask, I felt so invigorated and the next morning my skin was refreshed and so smooth! For a little pampering that goes a long way, I would definitely recommend checking out your local Target, or online, to find one that fits your needs!

With my face feeling fresh, I need to pep up the rest of me, and with summer days long gone, I like to use a self tanner. I've been wanting to try one of those sunless tanning towelettes but instead I had the opportunity to try out Roden+Fields Sunless Tanning Foam. The foam products are a bit intimidating and I wore gloves just in case of a mishap, but the foam was easy to put on, smelled nice and the result was awesome! I didn't have any problems aound my knees and ankles, which is the intimidating part for me, and it was even all over. I looked like I had been on the beach all week and I loved it! Another product that has been a go to for sunless tanning is Jergen's Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer. This one I have no fear about streaking and I don't use gloves, the "tan" is not as dark but its a warm boost of color for your skin, nice and subtle!

If only I had known what I know now about make up and skin care 12 years ago, I would be better off! Maybe, maybe not. I do know the products that suite me best and I do know how to be comfortable in my skin, so that might be the best lesson learned!

SHE HAS FIRE IN HER SOUL AND A KILLER PAIR OF BROWS

xo

how to create a command center

I find being organized, peaceful. But, the path to get there can be crazy!
We have created tiny office near the kitchen so we don't have to keep running up and down the stairs to the office and it has been the best organized space ever! It is small and has the basics of what we need everyday, and it was made with items I already had around the house {even better}!

A few basic tips ...
Find an out of the way space that is not in the path of everyone, kitchen to garage, dining room to backyard, etc.

Decide what you fell is necessary to make life easier, hooks for keys, hooks for backpack, space for shoes, charging station, etc.

Important papers that need to be accessed but don't hold personal info like school calendars, gift cards/coupons, workout/stretching for medical reasons schedule, etc.

Emergency contact info for the babysitter is part of our command center too. I have hours for the ice rink, pools, museums, zoo special events printed out as well. 

Supplies such as mini stapler, batteries, rubber bands, pen, paperclips all reside in drawers along with a basket of kid's activities the little things they need help with or messy projects they need help with.

Speaking of supplies ...
A lot of the command center has containers that I have had for years of stuff from my parents house, the amount of office supplies they have hoarded over the years was enormous! Other things were simple and cheap enough to buy.

TV Tray that we wedding registered for at Bed Bath and Beyond as a desk fit quit nice in the space I chose, and had space underneath for rain boots and flip flops for any stepping outside we need to do. I placed plants in front to hide them just enough (and it's the only place in the house with nice light to keep them alive!)

Baskets are from my own stash of stuff I have held on to, and lo and behold they now have a purpose! One is from Dollar Tree and the other I found at a garage sale. Check out garage sales, Savers, or goodwill for baskets before you go buying new!

Folder Holders are sturdy and this one is from my parent's office supplies, that I painted. I've seen the diy from a cereal box and would not recommend going that route, too flimsy. All the folders are from the back to schools sales in August, they contain medical info, school info, and projects around the house info! I also have a first aid book which I feel is the best place to shelve, easy to grab if needed! Next to that is a random cup full of pens and highlighters for easy planning and color coding your life!

Mini 3 Drawers I had for years and years for art supplies! Art supplies grew and it was moved around many times and now has landed here with batteries, staplers, matches, etc, your typical junk drawer just minimized! Try The Container Store for a product like this or any odd size container you might need! On top of that we keep phones since the outlet for the charger is right there. My husband keeps his phone, keys, wallet upstairs on the dresser since he uses the phone as an alarm and it is the last place he stops before heading out the garage door, but my wallet, keys, phone are kept together at the command center so I can grab and go out the door.

Wall Hanging Baskets are great for odds and ends, I found these ones at Target, backside of the aisles are where mark downs are kept and I had great luck finding these when I needed them! Coupons, menus, gift cards are all kept here along with sunglasses. These baskets work so well as hooks for sunglasses!

Cork Board is another item that has been passed around my family, you never toss a bulletin cork board or a dry erase white board, those are expensive, but if you do need one, Office Depot might be a good starting point! I clip together park and museum info, sporting event tickets and info, emergency contact sheet and a monthly activity calendar.  Check out Quill and  Yoobi for some fun supplies and other office things to make your space unique! Between the monthly activity calendar and my phone calendar, I never miss an appointment, plus it helps when the kids are bored and I jotted activity ideas down on each date!

Friends of mine add their meal prep lists and meal calendar too, but for me, that works better on the fridge next to the grocery list and blender bottles. Right now we don't need individual stations but I've seen some great ideas on personalizing each space for each family member! 
At the end of each month I sit down and go through calendars, coordinate nights out with meals, timing of activities and school pick up, appointments, meet ups with friends and all that crazy stuff that makes life flow easier! All these are, for me, are reminders so I can just go, be at peace, and  have fun and not be consumed with who needs what next and where I need to be, or running up and down the stairs to the office {although, I would get in my steps and leg workout for the day ...}

Add a few wall prints or photos and you have yourself a nice little space for all your office needs! 

A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN IT'S PLACE

xo

autumn leaves and pumpkin please!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Fall comes in a close second to summer as my favorite time of year ... crisp weather, festivals, apple and pumpkin picking, Halloween! What's not to love?!

The fall festivals are in full swing, and in our area there are many to choose from, I came across these great lists of fun fall events in the St. Louis County area,

Explore St. Louis
50 Fantastic Missouri Fall Festivals
funtober

My top picks are The Great Forest Park Balloon Race that was on Art Hill at the Art Museum this year and St. Charles Oktoberfest! Easy parking with just a bit of a walk, relaxing outside with your snacks or dinner, great drinks, lots to see and great music! Sadly, both events have come and gone, but they are about the same weekends each year, so mark your calendar for 2018.
Not only are the festivals bringing out the crowds, there are the high school homecoming activities for the little kids too. Check your local listings for high schools in your area!

Each year we find a great place to pick apples or pumpkins, and this year there happens to be a new player in the game, Chesterfield Valley Pumpkin Patch. After the closing of Rombachs, I kept hearing about another Chesterfield area spot opening, and then drove by it as they were getting ready for opening weekend. It looks great, it's right by the St. Louis Premium Outlets, easy to get to, and lots of parking! A few other favorites are,

Stuckmeyers Farms
Eckert's Farm
Centennial Farm
Eagle Fork Farms

Another top pick for fall fun are the Halloween light displays. Some houses go all out for Christmas, but now there are homes that have great displays for Halloween, and this site has some mapped out! We go to a little house in Dardenne Praire, he has an update on his facebook page and you can check out his site for playlist and other fun stuff!

I try to find trick or treating opportunities all over town for my little monsters, since they don't need to be out late into the night! I also find that the early evenings have less super scary costume clad people that could really put a damper on this fun holiday for them. The malls have never been our scene, and I used to work at the mall and I hated to be there on Halloween because of the rowdy kids that parents would bring INTO the store after grabbing some candy! So, need less to say why they are not what we do! The best place to be on Halloween for trick or treating, if your neighborhood isn't great, is St. Charles Main Street. The cobblestone street is blocked off, each store has someone out in front handing out treats, it starts at 3PM, and the open park by the river has activities! It's just great!! They also have a fun pumpkin glow the weekend of or before, glowing pumpkins up and down the cobblestone block with a pumpkin spice latte, a nice night indeed!
Our friends live over in Edwardsville IL, and I've been told they have a pretty big Halloween event every year, we might have venture out that way and check it out for ourselves!
Look at all the other fun event this year,

Costume ice skating at Creve Coeur and Brentwood

Boo at the Zoo
Grants Farm Halloween Nights
Westport Plaza Halloween Parade
Town & Country event
Chesterfield Eat and Treat
Kirkwood Farmer's Market
Valley Park event
St. Charles Community College
St. Louis Community College-Wildwood
Whole Foods event
St. Peter's Halloween Carnival
Eureka Halloween Parade
Eureka Halloween
Fenton Trunk or Treat
Traubman Prestige Outlets
St. Louis Science Center
Missouri History Museum
Webster Groves event
World Bird Sanctuary

Don't forget to look up St. Louis County Library activities at all the branches, and your local churches or schools for more trick or treating! Want more fall ideas? Check out my Pinterest page!

Did you know there are candy "buy back" events around town? Check these out HERE,  HERE, and HERE!

An all hallows eve movie, for after a days worth of tricks, is my favorite way to spend time with the hubby this season. The lists out there are awesome and full of good movies! Here are some of our {not so horrifying} favorites!

LET'S GET SPOOKY!

xo