moms night in

I've been trying to get together with friends and every so often I have a good conversation with them in the midst of figuring out when to meet up, but then a date for an evening out never comes to light. Which is fine, everyone has lots going on, a kids gets sick, the day gets to you, I have been all of there and done all of that. So, it got me thinking of fun "mom" movies and maybe hosting a Mom Movie Night In might work out better!

Then I staring thinking of movies for this idea of an event with friends! A lot of good ones came to mind and I will share my favorites with you now ...

Fun Moms Dinner ~ Four preschool moms with little in common need a night out to take a break from their kids, but one thing leads to another and things get rowdy! Really silly and heartwarming and such a great cast!

Freaky Friday ~ An overworked mother and her daughter do not get along. When they switch bodies, each is forced to adapt to the other's life for one freaky Friday! I'm partial to the original with Jodi Foster but I got to say the updated version is really good, and Jamie Lee Curtis is fantastic at whatever role she is plays! 

Mother's Day ~ As Mother's Day nears, a group of seemingly unconnected people in Atlanta come to terms with their relationships with their mothers! I love the kind of movie where the characters seem distant but end up all connected and this cast makes for a fun movie!

What To Expect When Your Expecting ~ Follow the lives of five interconnected coupes as they experience the thrills and surprises of having a baby and realize that no matter what you plan for, life does not always deliver what is expected! Hands down one of the funniest parenting movies out there! 

The Meddler ~ A widow from New York City follows her daughter to L.A. in hopes of starting a new life after her husband passes away.  Susan Sarandon and Rose Byrne are heartwarming and hilarious!

Mother and Daughters ~ Interwoven stories about what it means to be a mom, which are tied together by a single gal photographer who is riding a career high when an unlike;y and unexpected pregnancy forces her to turn her lens inward. Beautifully done an poignant!

Ricki and the Flash ~ It's been a roller-coaster ride for Ricki, a one-time wife and mother of three who left her family behind to follow her dreams of rock 'n' roll stardom in California. Now, the singer and guitarist must face the music when she returns home to Indiana to reconnect with ex-husband, troubled daughter, engaged son and younger son. Filled with regret, Ricki hopes to find redemption for all of the bad choices that she made in the past! Meryl Streep is amazing and this is an oddly moving, funny movie!

Stepmom ~ A story of an unlike;y friendship that develops between two remarkable women, one the ex-wife and the other the current girlfriend who continually clash over the well-being of the children. What can i say, i like Susan Sarandon! Both her and Julia Roberts make this movie a heartwarming drama to root for both women!

The Guilt Trip ~ A son is about to embark on a road trip of a lifetime when a quick stop at his mom's house turns into an unexpected cross country voyage with her along for the ride! So funny through and through!

Baby Mama ~ A successful single business woman who dreams of having a baby discovers she is infertile and hires a working class woman to be her unlikely surrogate! Amy Poehler and Tina Fey ... enough said!

Mama Mia ~ The stage show turn movie about a bride-to-be trying to find her father and the lighter side of a mother-daughter relationships! Great fun and Meryl Streep, again, amazing along with the fantastic cast!

Riding In Cars With Boys ~ The fresh, funny, touching and true story of writer Beverly Donofrio reveals her coming of age in the late 1960s and her whole life colored by an event that happened when she was 15. Spanning more than two decades, as the young heroine experiences often-humorous, sometimes-irreverent, but certainly a unique personal journey to make something meaningful of her life. Beautiful movie with Drew Barrymore!

Because I Said So ~ An unconditionally loving, but meddling, mother whose vain attempt to prevent her youngest daughter from repeating the same mistakes that she made, leads to a series of comic misunderstandings! The entire cast of this funny and charming movie are wonderful to watch!

Bad Moms ~ When three overworked and under appreciated moms are pushed beyond their limits, they ditch their conventional responsibilities for a jolt of long overdue fun, freedom, and comic self-indulgence! The best "mom" movie ever! Do yourself a favor and watch it now!

Oh to be a mom and have life played out on the big screen! But way more glamorous and amusing than reality, am I right!?

LIFE DOESN'T COME WITH A MANUAL, IT COMES WITH A MOTHER

xo

cries for help

Do you ever feel like you can't put up with one more scream? Or one more nasty sounding "please"? Or one more whining cry about the bowl the applesauce is in, is the wrong color? No, you just can't take it anymore? Hey, me too!

I feel as if it's a weird abusive relationship that I'm stuck in. Nobody is happy that I have made their peanut butter and jelly sandwich because today a triangle cut sandwich is not what they wanted, even though for the past week that was perfectly fine. Nobody is content with having cereal for breakfast because the bowl or the spoon is the wrong color even though they have never been picky about that sort of thing until today. Nobody wants to put on their pants because, honesty I don't even know why because at that point I was so done with the both of them I went downstairs to warm up my coffee so I could stay somewhat sane for the rest of the morning. 

Yep, it wasn't even 10AM and I was about ready to loose my shit.

Everyday something gets blown out of proportion and turns into a 30 minute whining, screaming meltdown! I offer solutions and remind them to use their words because Mommy is not a mind reader and the day is filled of ungrateful, hostile actions and words!

Now, some of you are probably saying to yourself, "what brats you have"
and I say to you, well gold star on your sweet little angels that are obedient little saints 100% of the time, bravo ... 
Because let's face it, they are not and you are lying to everyone if you say they are.

I don't know why all this started, and I feel like it's been creeping up the last few months, but I don't think it is a behavioral issue that I need to call the pediatrician on, but I think it's more than chalking it up to a phase they are going through {SIGH} either way, it needs to stop because I am exhausted by this nonsense everyday and it is overwhelming for me. So much so, that by the time they are in bed, after putting up a fight about anything and everything you could imagine, I just want to collapse and not wrap up important things that need to be done. 

This is draining, and most days I'm the only one with them. When Joe gets home, he plays with the kids and helps around the house and witnesses the evening portion of the fiasco that has been my entire day, but I don't think he fully understands. I'm dazed and perturbed and bewildered as to what I could have done differently and disheartened as I stare aimlessly at the to-do list and eventually weep while sitting on the sofa watching tv because I'm at a loss of what to do. What to do about chores before I need to go to bed. What to do about the kids attitude for tomorrow. What to do about talking to Joe and coming up with a solution. 

Wake up earlier to set a pleasant mood? Worth a try
Keep calm and deep breathes? That might work for a while
Steady regular voice no matter what? Maybe
So I looked up a few articles and the best one that I liked, came from my favorite podcast duo, Megan and Sarah of The Mom Hour! They don't post on this site anymore but this was a great read and if you want more of The Mom Hour, check out LifeListened! More great helpful advice came from this wonderful post that is just good 'ol self-care centered that I need reminding of from time to time.

Tomorrow is another day and they won't stay little for much longer, so create a home where everyone thrives and stick with the family rules because what they are taught now, sticks with them forever.

RAISING KIDS IS A WALK IN THE PARK ... JURASSIC PARK

xo

must have coffee

I can not start the day without a cup of coffee.

How can you?! I mean really, how can you roll out of bed, put on your cozy socks, come down stairs to the kitchen and what, drink water, juice, a soda {blahk}! My husband can, and it's just crazy to me.

I love a cup of coffee each morning and I like it different ways and surprisingly I'm not picky about what brand of coffee. I have tried many kinds and have never found an absolute favorite, but one thing that I do take note on is how well it reheats. In that category, I have found a good one, Mama Java Coffee! They have a nice variety and I can't wait to try their Hazelnut {that's right Pumpkin Spice, theirs a new player in town} Check them out and use my code musthavecoffee for a discount!

I've tried it black with different roasts but I always want it sweetened. You can put any amount of dairy in it and I will be a happy camper. And recently I've become a big fan of bullet proof coffee! SO GOOD! I blend a tablespoon of grass fed butter, a teaspoon of honey and a dash of vanilla extract, yum!

I have had my share of Folders and Market Fresh Target brand Columbian blends as well as breakfast blends from Hills Brothers and Maxwell House. The breakfast blends are a bit weak and the french roast can be bitter for my taste, but Kona coffee is the best for a good strong cup that is still mild and sweet! For more on beans, you have to read this piece, this lays it out really well!
I love getting my french press all set up in the mornings and it is enough time to make the kids breakfast while getting the kettle hat and waiting for the coffee to steep. But if we are in a mad rush you know I go straight to the k-cups, reusable of course, and it is just as tasty as my weekend luxury french press!

And now with the weather turning cooler, I can't help but make my own creamer with some delicious variations for the holidays that are so simple. They really are simple ...
Basic Coffee Creamer
In a small pot over low heat, stir in milk, heavy cream or sweetened condensed milk, and vanilla extract. Stir continually until mixture starts to steam them turn off heat, stir a bit more and let cool.

For amazing flavors I add in:
Cinnamon
Cocoa Powder
Peppermint Extract & Cocoa Powder
Honey
Maple Syrup
Cloves & Cinnamon & Nutmeg
Almond Extract
Coconut Milk

or any combination of those really! Play around and find out for yourself what is the best tasting morning cup of joe!

I rarely make a stop to the coffee shop in the morning on my way to work, it just doesn't work out for me and half the time I really don't know what they have and I'm holding up the line and that's not how I want to start my morning. So I found this great article on different types of coffee drinks that I might have to save on my phone a s quick guide {ya know what, I bet you there is an app for that, ha!} Check it out because it will save you tiime and hassel when in line.

COFFEE: WHEN YOUR BRAIN NEEDS A HUG

xo

and off to school we go

It's Back to School! 
Or start of school for us really, S is in Kindergarten this year and, even though he went to preschool twice a week last year, all this school stuff is so new and exciting ... and crazy!

The public school district we live in is great and highly rated and all those other things that you look at on all the ratings sites when your looking up which area around town to move to. They have great programs throughout the year with before and after school care, as well as a few sports and clubs, we've been getting all the announcements! 
But I started looking up all this stuff in June, it can't be just me who wants to find out a couple of important scheduling pieces of information that will dictate how our daily routine goes, is it???

So far into the year, I don't know how drop off works, even though the pick up procedure is a page long in the Kindergarten "cliff notes" booklet and the actual parent handbook I didn't see online until the first week of school! I had to ask around to figure out the Box Tops thing {if you are going to advertise that the school does this, you need to let us know where do we turn them in!} Announcements for fun stuff are not handed out until the Friday before, and the calendar the school's website has is a joke - no description, no contact person, nothing to indicate if siblings are allowed {back to school night, which turned out to be another gather for families and students}. There are so many staff members that I don't know if it's another teacher, or a parent volunteer, or it might be the upper grades teacher. I don't know!

Why wasn't any of this stuff in any kind of new student info guide?!? 

And everyone is in a hurry for things to work smoothly, therefore stopping them to ask a question just flusters the shit out of them! To top it all off, the secretaries in the office don't help much or direct you somewhere else and you end up right back at their desk! There are too many apps, websites, redirection of links, etc that the school all wants you to have to make everything "easy" but ends up being a useless pile of crap, so you might as well just use your phone for what a phone is intended for and carve an hour out of your day to figure it out.

I really hope my kid has an easier time getting help while he is at school.

School supplies were not as expensive as I thought they would be, so that was good, but I spread it out all summer with double coupons and online sales. I've working in retail too long to deal with the nonsense of tax free weekend, I'll save that weekend headache for a smart calculator and the laptop to college days. But did you know that you can just go online to target and click you school name and get a shopping cart of your child's class supply list?! 

ME NEITHER, until after the first week of school!! 

Find it at School List Assist! It's super easy and half the list was available, other things could not be found or don't ship to home, but still pretty cool. Yeah I had no idea they did that and it makes me wonder if other stores do and where is it advertised. It must be one of those super secret parents tips that other parents don't tell "newbies" about because they were never told or the thing didn't exist back then so they keep this info to themselves and end up saying "oh yeah, we've done that for years now, its great" when you mention it {then you think to yourself, WTF why would you not share this with me knowing that this is our first school year?!}

Well, all the store that I would normally visit do! Target, Office Depot, Walmart, Staples, Amazon, all have a specific to the school or general grade level list so you can check it out before August rolls around and not scramble to buy loads of supplies all at one. Hey, if your paycheck allows you to do that, luck you.

We are not dealing with bus or lunch line this year, which makes me happy but S asks everyday why can't he ride the bus ... we live literally four blocks away, that's why. And the other days it's, why can't I buy lunch, it's free ... no, the kids just use a pin code connected to their parents money, which he still doesn't understand and now I'm mad as all hell that the school has done away with actual dollar bills {ya'll} being counted and exchanged at the cafeteria lunch line. It makes me nervous about some kind of crazy new math he will be taught and won't have the ability to balance a checkbook in the future and that makes my head hurt!

Did I cry the first day of school? No.
Did S get so nervous and distraught the first day of school? No. 
Does S talk about how his day at school was? No.
Did he visit the school nurse within the first two weeks? Why yes, yes he did.
Is he figuring out social skills? Yes, and it's so stinkin' cute to watch him "hang out" and chat with them and say goodbye to them all!

SO FAR, SO GOOD

xo

well hello there

After a hiatus with ups and downs and an overall feeling of stress, I think I need to come back to this blog little by little. I have been enjoying summer with my kids and husband, as well as dealing with some lows with many headaches (Joe was in a car accident!) and keeping both kids occupied on those St. Louis "too damn hot to to anything" days! 

Vacation is a foreign word to me, I guess the closest thing resembling one of those, is a day trip to the lake/zoo/Arch or a weekend to see the new aquarium Springfield (which is pretty cool!). We are so lucky to have two family members with subdivision pools because that is where we end up spending most weekends, and a few playgrounds nearby in which S&Z make friends for the couple hours we are there, then ask if they can come over to our house the next day! {It's funny to watch little ones interact on the playground}

So while there is nothing much to say here, I would suggest looking back at my JUNE 2017 post about great summer places to check out! Enjoy the last days before back to school!

AUGUST IS LIKE THE SUNDAY OF SUMMER

xo

ugh

i just spent the last 3 hours ... THREE HOURS ... writing a, what i considered, awesome post about spring events in St Louis and what's coming up around town ... THREE HOURS AND NOW IT IS ALL GONE!

even though i saved and tried to preview it here on blogger, i refreshed even though the warning popped up, i went ahead and refreshed and lost everything ... EVERYTHING I JUST SPENT 3 HOURS WRITING!

i might be done with this, i might feel different tomorrow, don't know ...

I'M PISSED OFF

xo

random acts of kindness

My kids and I talk about random acts of kindness and I try to give them the opportunity to show random acts of kindness each day. When kids are young, I feel that it is simple, like sharing a bite of ice cream, helping with chores without being asked, holding the door for someone at the store. A lot of it goes hand in hand with teaching them common courtesy and respect for your fellow human being. I also find lots of great advice here on raising a kind kid and here for inspiring articles!

Even though random acts of kindness is intirgrated into daily life, each holiday season I make our Christmas calendar a Random Acts of Kindness calendar and instead of filling it with treats, I fill it with ideas to bring others kindness. I got this idea from the Kindness Elves and we fashioned it into our own Kindness Angels with some creative crafting ... and Target!
I found these really great ornaments and couldn't resist, then came across little fabric wings and viola, the perfect little companion for our new family tradition!

This activity kicks off our new year, and we continue donating what we can to local and national charities, like food banks, homeless shelters, veterans, diaper banks, and animal shelters, or fill helping bags to keep in the car when we cross paths with someone in need. But not all acts of kindness have to be big gestures or big amounts of money, just a a small smile and hello will do just fine. Some other great ideas are,

visit great grand parents, help make sandwiches for a homeless shelter, donate clothes and toys to families in need, keep your local park clean, write thank you notes to the police station or firehouse, set out water and snacks for UPS, FedEx, etc, make a bird feeder, leave a ball at the park for the next kid that comes along, plant a tree, send a care package to a soldier oversees ... 

Another idea that I wanted to do one day with the family was take all our loose change and feed the street parking meters downtown, but they don't exist anymore! Ha! I did that a few times as a kid but now it's just a memory of yesteryear, along with the wall hanging land line phone and ten foot spiral cord! 

I can't tell you how excited my two were to help out with these activities, to get their hands in there and make something with the grown ups or take their own idea for coloring a picture to send to one of the "helpers" (thank you Mr. Rogers Neighborhood!) Getting to be part of the project was just as exciting to them as sending our kindness out into the world, it really leaves an impression on little minds!

So many organizations need help and I have a found that a lot of our friends are good resources when it comes to getting the low down on who is in need or who is a reliable group. I also looked up a list on PBS here to get a few ideas. Not only can you pay it forward in your community, but now there are so many groups that help around the country and the world by sharing unique housewares and jewelry, gifts that give back! Some of my favorite that I've come across are pura vida, beautiful bracelets that are daily reminders of what you want to put out into the world; Expedition Subsahara, amazing baskets and jewelry; and love your melon, great hats that give back to kids fighting cancer! Find more in this post from Real Simple!

DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE

xo

  

saying goodbye

I've had this idea to write on the topic of loss in a family for awhile now and there is no one way to answer the question ... how to talk to your kids about death. After reading here and there about lots of ways to talk/explain/console, I'm just going to put out there what we ended up doing and a few of my favorite articles about the subject. 

We had an uncle pass way before the holidays as well as two family pets and last week my husband's friend, who is only a few years older than us, suddenly passed. All have been hard on my kids in different ways and we explained what we thought is appropriate for them about each. My uncle they only knew from pictures, and we talked about how he had been sick for a few years fighting the cancer and visiting doctors to help him. The two pets were the animals my kids played with the most and it was a missing piece when they visited grandparents homes, so we talked about how that's what happens when you live a long life. For more talking points on grieving a pet, I found this post. 

Our friend they knew and we all hung out from time to time but he wasn't close with S & Z, but they have both heard us talking about the visitation and have seen me cry the last few days, asking what's wrong and why are you crying. This one has really hit close to home because it was so sudden and unbelievable, the thought of his wife and their newborn and will they be ok takes over my whole body, this is the first friend of ours who has passed away, I mean the majority of our group of friends are early-mid 30's. It also brings up questions of what we have in place if something happens and a sudden need to make sure all affairs are in order! With that panic, I headed over to What's Your Grief to calm my mind.

My responsibility to my children is to teach them and on this subject I feel there is no sugar-coating it. Nobody is "sleeping", the animals did not go to a farm, my kids are smart and life is not all rainbows and candy, so I feel a basic truth is what they can handle. There has been talk of heaven and their soul is in good hands free from any hurt, we have also told them the body just stops working when it is sick and can't fight anymore or has been around a long time (which then prompts the question, will gram gram die soon?!) I think my kids understand things more when it is plain and simple science explanation, when we talked about heaven, they kind of went off on a storyline like it was a pretend/imagination/movie, like they know Mike and Sully from Monsters Inc are not real it's just pretend and they don't really live behind the closet door in the monster world. I found myself referring back here for a checklist of points to make clear when talking about death.

But, every kid is different! Some might dwell on it and stay in their room, others might have lots of questions and you can see the gears in their head turning, others might just end the conversation and continue playing. It seemed like, for us, the questions were spread out and they took about a week each time to understand it, ask some more, come up with scenarios they had concerns about. It also helped that we have had a bit of conversation about death when it was about a squashed bug or a deer on the side of the road to ease into, in the years previous.
And now as I'm writing, we don't have any books that tackle the subject, so finding some good references at the library would be helpful to any child at any age! There are a few story books to get us started at Parents.com.

I also want to add a side note about how to help a grieving person. I feel if I were on the other side, these are words I would want to hear and actions that would truly help.

So, in the end, what I gather from all that I read, I did it right (yay parenting win!) when I talked briefly, plainly, and distinction between death and illness. I always let them know they can talk to us about anything and that there will be somethings that we just don't know, but we will figure it out together. 

THE TROUBLE IS, YOU THINK YOU HAVE TIME

xo

new year, slow start

Well December and January sure disappeared in the blink of an eye!

And let's face it, I don't have this blog scheduled out with official "work days" or help for creating content and graphics. I wonder what a full time blogger work schedule looks like, and how they get everything researched, written, and photographed to put out by a certain date? Hmm, maybe that is what I should look into this new year ...

But in the mean time there a few things I'm working on that I want to talk about as well as making sure I get back into this routine of posting!

BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE WHILE WORKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT

XO